Experiencing Healthy Love And Romance In Recovery
While in active addiction, the love we experienced often lacked a large degree of healthiness.
In addiction we cling. We cling to our addictive substances. We cling to our addiction-driven habits. We cling to our coping mechanisms. We cling to the people that support us and we cling to those who enable us.
Clinging is a dangerous coping mechanism; it gives our power to someone or something else and leaves us more vulnerable and unsafe. This is especially true in romantic relationships – clinging opens us to abuse, betrayal, misdirection and misguidance.
Josie B. knows this first-hand. In her last destructive relationship she went wherever her boyfriend went, regardless of whether or not it was a healthy environment for her. Brandon was a musician. After every gig he, his band members and their entourage hit a bar, club or party where drugs were easily available and the booze flowed.