Addict & Father
(Commentary) - I am an addict in recovery and father to two beautiful daughters. One of my daughters has untreated mental illness and is on some combo of wine, weed, and Xanax. She is beautiful, intelligent, has a successful career; and as the disease progresses, is ever so slowly sinking into the abyss of isolation and self-medication. In recovery, I know I can only carry the message. How, whether, or even if it received is out of my control. As a father I desperately want to help my sick child, especially since I have lived this journey. There has been major emotional, financial, and legal damage caused by her. She can be entitled, selfish, arrogant, with volatile mood swings. Around her it’s always walking on eggshells. And she is my daughter and I love her.
For a long time I wanted justice, for her to take responsibility, and that never happened. Instead our family was ruptured. Over time it was revealed to me that justice was my will and that mercy was God’s will. I began to approach my daughter with mercy, and she responded in kind. I don’t preach, or ever offer unasked advice. In this relationship, the best I can do is stay healthy and remain available. Live my life in a positive way and be a power of example. All unresolved issues are put aside for now.
One way I understand my relationship with my daughter is that I think of myself as the North Star. I am always in the same place, always shining a light, even, especially when it’s cold and dark. If she can find me, she can find her way home.
I am powerless to bring peace to anyone but myself, but being at peace is, for now, the best I can do. We do not have a peaceful relationship, more like a truce. But a truce is way better than rupture and for that I am grateful. Addict or father? Addict AND father in recovery. About the Author: Anonymous Photo Credits: Wix