Search

5 Pieces Of Advice For Being In A Relationship With Someone In Recovery


It’s no secret that dating can be tough — and it can be even tougher to date if you’re not sober but your partner is. Sometimes, if you have no personal experience with something such as addiction and recovery, it can be difficult to get on the same page as your partner. There isn’t a clear rule book when it comes to a non-sober person dating a sober person, as each and every relationship has its own unique dynamic. For this reason, it’s important to consider a few factors when dating someone who no longer drinks or uses drugs. Here are a few pieces of advice for this situation, coming from someone in recovery.


1. Make an effort to understand your partner’s reasoning for sobriety.

Some people in recovery may have been dating their partner when they decided to get sober, and in situations like these, it’s likely the partner understands why their significant other decided to make changes in their life. They likely saw first-hand the negative effects drinking was having on their partner’s life. But this isn’t always the case. Sometimes a person may decide to get sober, and then meets their partner and settles down. This can make it a bit more difficult for you, the non-sober significant other, to understand why your partner decided to cut out alcohol. It’s important for you to take the time to talk to your partner about the effects alcohol or drugs were having on their life and why they felt it was in their best interest to stop drinking or using completely. Even though you may never fully understand what your partner’s life was like when they were drinking or using, it matters that you make the effort to understand to the best of your ability.


2. Have a conversation to set some ground rules.

This one is vital for any relationship in which one person is in recovery and the other is not. If you are in a relationship with someone who is sober, take the time to have a conversation with them about how your own drinking may or may not affect them. Some people in recovery are OK being around alcohol, while for others it is too tempting. This can depend on a number of factors, including how long your partner has been sober and how confident they are in their sobriety. If your partner does not feel comfortable being around you when you are drinking, it’s important to respect that. If you don’t, there could be some tension and frustration in the relationship, and it could possibly jeopardize your partner’s recovery.




3. Don’t make assumptions.

Because there are certain stereotypes about people who are sober, it’s easy to think they wouldn’t want to be invited to places such as bars or that they’d rather be left out of alcohol-centered events. While this may be the case for some people in recovery, it’s not the case for everyone. Some people in recovery can handle themselves perfectly well around alcohol and may be hurt if they are not invited places simply because alcohol will be present. This assumption can be incredibly hurtful when coming from you, their partner. On the flip side, it’s also important not to assume someone in recovery is comfortable around alcohol. It really just depends on the person. In a relationship, it’s not difficult to be honest and have a quick conversation in order to avoid any consequences of assumptions.


4. Ask questions you have them.

If there’s something about your partner’s his