(Introspective) - Too often the abused carry the guilt and shame. They feel responsible for criminal acts committed against them.
They’ve come to believe that in some small way they deserved it. At least that’s what this survivor felt until I was enlightened by a very insightful therapist.
I now after 53 years am free of any and all blame, guilt, or shame. Hopefully, my story will help to put in focus who should actually carry that burden, the abuser.
I will do my best to give the least graphic version of my story. A huge trigger warning right now of childhood sexual assault and child abuse, if those are things that make you uncomfortable? Please click away now.
For the first 10 years, I was sexually molested by multiple family members; the first 14 I was brutally beaten every day of my life.
I am now 54 years old and I carried my abusers' guilt and shame for the next four and a half decades, using alcohol (and pills) to forget.
First, we must identify why we feel guilt and shame as victims? We feel guilt and shame because when we look at a child and we think of harming them in those ways we feel the guilt and shame that the abusers do not feel, but we carry because they took our purest form of innocence.
Now that we know where the guilt properly lies, we are able to put the shame back on them, the blame shame and guilt. You now have internal permission to shift the guilt and shame to the responsible party.
Enjoy the freedom.
About The Author:
Mike lives in Colusa County and is a contributing editor and recovery ambassador with CCR. He is a disabled, sober veteran, who tries to be as active as possible in his community and enjoys spending time with his kids.